Sandra Lee fans!
We all need ‘me’ time. Whether it is just having a
coffee, going for a walk, or soaking in a bubble bath, we need
time that is ‘ours’. This should be time when no-one knocks on the
bathroom door because they can’t find something, or phones you
when you are walking around the park because there is something
that only you can do. Yet, many women feel selfish about
allocating time to themselves.
Why is this, and what can be done to alter this attitude? Only when we can
adjust how we feel, can we begin to enjoy ‘me’ time, completely free from
If you are married or have a partner, then consider this common scenario.
It’s Saturday morning, and your partner goes off for his weekly game of
golf (or whatever else he enjoys on a regular basis). What do you do while
he is gone? Do you book yourself the morning off to do what you want to
do? Or is it more likely that you are ferrying the kids around, doing
laundry or shopping?
If your answer is closer to the second option than the first, then you
need to look at why this happens. It is unlikely that your partner feels
guilty about going for his game of golf, but could you honestly say the
same if you took a Saturday morning to go walking up a mountain each week,
or to spend time with your girlfriends?
Often, women can be their own worse enemies. Many women will complain that
they do not get time to themselves, yet when they do, they struggle with
feelings of guilt and selfishness, and so don’t enjoy the time as they
should. If you find yourself in this category, then you need to look at
certain areas in your life that stop you enjoying time to yourself.
Identify your gremlins.
These are things that you do out of a sense of compliance. Here are some
of the most common gremlins.
·- Saying ‘yes’ when you mean to say ‘no’.
· - Suppressing how you feel for fear of hurting someone’s feelings.
· - Always trying to please everyone all of the time.
·- Working extra hours to prove yourself
· - Feeling under pressure to be the best wife/mother/daughter/worker
If you are to find a way to enjoy time for yourself you need to address
The next time someone asks you to do something that you
don’t want to do, take a deep breath and say that you are sorry, but on
this occasion you cant help them with this task. Smiling as you say it
often helps! If they persist, then be tough and keep repeating that you
cant help them this time.
· You have the same rights to be happy as everyone else in
your life. If there is something that is making you unhappy, then it is
best for everyone concerned if you say so. Yes, you may hurt someone’s
feelings, but in the long run they will get over it, and if they care for
you they will look at ways that they can help. The chances are, they
haven’t realized that you are unhappy.
Remember the old proverb ‘You can’t please all of the
people all of the time?’ Well, its true! There are times when you wont be
able to please everyone, so it makes sense, if now and again you choose to
If you stay longer at the office to show that you can
manage the workload, then ask yourself why? If you need to stay longer
because you cannot get your work done in the allocated time, then maybe
its time to address this. If you feel that you should stay longer to
impress people, then ask yourself, who and why.
Feeling under pressure to be the best wife/daughter/mother
etc is usually comes from either yourself or other wives/ mothers and
suchlike. Make an effort not to get drawn into this. If your partner tells
you that his mother always did things a certain way, firmly tell him that
you like doing it ‘your’ way. It’s no sin to be the best you can be in any
situation, but make sure that you are going by your standards, not others.
Having time to yourself, to spend as you please without
interruption is not a treat to be given out as a reward. You have as much
right to your ‘Me’ time as the next person. Make sure that you claim that
right, and more importantly, that when you have time to yourself you enjoy
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